Pride Parade: An LGBTQ+ Typal Deck ★
I've had some wonderful friends pulling me in for games of commander lately, and it's gotten me absolutely hooked on building decks for Magic the Gathering again. I've always loved breaking down games, I used to work as a rulebook editor even, so digging into rules and trying to make that cardboard motor purr is an absolute treat for me. I had joked with some friends that I should try to make a "lesbians only" deck as a fun building challenge a while back, but with June ready to rainbow blast its way around the corner, I decided it would be quite a fun challenge to dig into all of MTG's queer history to try and make a strong commander deck. I figured there couldn't be that many cards featuring queer characters in what was essentially a mass media franchise, right?
Using this amazing resource as well as my own sleuthing, I had a whopping list of over four hundred thirty cards to choose from that featured the queer cast of MTG in some way. Alongside this, I allowed myself a little leeway to included some of the other gayest™ cards available. In the end, these were my rules for bulding the deck:
- Cards that feature queer characters in their art are 100% good to go.
- Cards could also feature non-queer characters so long as the queer ones were also included (we respect queer allies).
- Any cards with rainbows included were also aceptable.
- All lands could be included, queer people should be welcomed anywhere.
- No cops at pride. (Prowl, Stoic Strategist would not be allowed in the deck.)
- If any card is just plain thematic enough and fits, it would be allowed in the deck. (Wedding Ring lets you get gay married in a game of Commander technically? APPROVED!)
With all these rules in place, I settled in and made a heck of a fun deck that even managed to feature a mechanic unlikely to ever be reprinted in MTG in a way that was flavorful, thematic, and honestly powerful.
Choosing A Commander
After collecting my massive list of cards, I was originally dismayed to find that there wasn’t a single canonical queer member of the MTG cast that had all five colors as a commander. No rainbow flag commander‽ BLASPHEMY! Even with more cards than I had expected, I knew this deck would need access to all colors to have its best chance of success. What was I to do?
Friends were suggesting I compromise so the deck could function. One person specifically suggested Jodah, the Unifier as it might arguably fit under the thematically fitting rule. That suggestion made me realize I could do better than just fitting thematically, I could have a commander that is arguably canonically asexual and has been considered a gay icon while being used in promotional materials for pride month. Plus, the commander for the deck having a massive rainbow right in the card art certainly didn’t hurt!
That’s right, SpongeBob SquarePants would be the leader of this pride parade. Now I know that the SpongeBob Secret Lair cards are particularly contentious even among fans of new Universes Beyond sets, but I’m not afraid to let go and just have fun when deck building. Plus, it’s just mechanically the best card to lead this deck. Every single creature in this deck is legendary (like all us gays are) so once SpongeBob hits the field, the boosts it can provide often become massive. Especially as it helps bring in even more characters to march in the pride parade.
Strike Up The 1+1 Band
From there, picking out the queer cast of characters actually became quite simple. I was able to focus on a lot of creature cards that provided 1+1 tokens, which worked particularly well with Adamantium Body Tank (The Ozolith) on board. The Thirteenth Doctor can also quickly make all of those creatures absolutely terrifying as they don't leave room for your opponents to attack you without blockers in the way. Alharu, Solemn Ritualist and Felisa, Fang of Silverquill can also take advantage of those 1+1 tokens by making extra attackers on the board if certain creatures die. Shalai and Hallar can even help get a little damage onto opponents as well.
Outside of those, Arcade Gannon was included for card draw and recursion, Paladin Danse, Steel Mavrick was included to protect the surprisingly large number of humans in the deck (including our spongey commander), and both Alesha cards provided solid recursion as well. But truly one of the most interesting creature inclusions was Tomik, Distinguished Advokist as he would protect the most unique part of the deck once he hit the field.
If you're queer and reading this in 2025, it's not that hard to see just how difficult things have been for the queer community across the world. I don't need to link a bunch of news stories here, we all know how tons of horrible forces have come together to try and eliminate queer people, especially trans people, out of public life. The only way we will truly stop them is by banding together to fight against our opressors. Those with knowledge of the deep MTG lore are now groaning at how bad that pun is, but for those who don't know what I'm talking about, allow me to explain.
Banding is already quite a confusing mechanic in Magic the Gathering and there’s a reason there hasn’t been more cards with it printed. So don't feel bad if you don't know how Bands With Other even works remotely. So let’s check out its reminder text real fast:
Bands with other [quality] (Any [quality] creatures can attack in a band as long as at least one has "bands with other [quality]." Bands are blocked as a group. If at least two [quality] creatures you control, one of which has "bands with other [quality]," are blocking or being blocked by the same creature, you divide that creature's combat damage, not its controller, among any of the creatures it's being blocked by or is blocking.)
In this case, the "quality" in question is being a legendary creature with a matching color. While defending, this allows players to carefully choose how damage is taken, allowing our queer band to potentially avoid trample damage, or to spread out damage so your creatures aren't killed in the end. When attacking, this can allow for similar action, made even stronger by Maze of Ith essentially making your attacking band invinsible, even against creatures with Deathtouch. Don't forget that with Chromatic Lantern they can also still tap for mana as well. This felt just too perfectly thematic within the deck, alongside mechanically quite cool, to not include. I did choose to omit Seafarer's Quay, a similar card that provides the Bands With Other ability to blue creatures, simply as there's far less of those in the deck. I do have it on the sideboard however, and it's easy to slot in for people who want that full janky land flavor.
Coalition Victory
Since I just mentioned the sideboard, let's take a look at the one other card I kept in there: Coalition Victory. While there may not be a tutor to snag it in this deck, it can be surprisingly easy to suddenly snag a victory with it when it shows up in hand at the right time. In some ways, I absolutely adore the card as a victory among our queer coalition is so thematically perfect with all of its rainbow mana needs that I couldn't ask for more. On the other hand, it can make this deck oddly swingy, suddenly snagging victories with very little able to be done to stop it, and it doesn't flow with the main strategy of the deck at all. I could see it occassionally leaving a sour taste in mouths when playing with it, so I kept it on the side to let anyone building this deck make the choice of whether to run it on their own. Though personally, if I were to slide it in, I'd probably trade out Nissa, Steward of Elements for it, simply as she's the only Planeswalker in the deck and is mostly there for a little help with card draw and the potential to get more legends on the field.
Playing Out The Pride Parade
With the main mechanics of the deck explained, the rest is rather simple. While the choices of cards had to be a bit exentric due to the requirements of the deck, there are plenty of removal, draw, protection, ramp, and even a tiny bit of tutoring as its disposal. With the strength of its general land package and ramp, it's very easy to get out the large amounts of lands needed while slowly building up creatures on the board to take advantage of SpongeBob once you can get him onto the field. Outside of the element of surprise that Bands With Other will offer you, likely confusing your opponent and maybe even yourself at first, the deck is ironically quite straightforward to play despite how queer it is. Get it? Straight- okay yeah, that was bad wordplay even for me.
The full deck list can be seen below. I know that price point is eyewatering, but remember a lot of the cards in the deck are included specifically because they feature art of specific characters, making things a bit more pricey. There's nothing wrong with printing proxies to get your pride on (that's how I playtested this deck), or running less expensive versions of the cards with different art. Just because some of the cards might still be in the closet, it doesn't make them any less valid when you play with them after all.
I hope you enjoy the deck if you take a chance to try it out! Feel free to let me know if you have any ideas for improving it or just plain had a good time playing with it on any of my various social medias you can find on the sidebar of the site. Whether it be June or any other month, I hope all of your Friday nights are filled with magic, both queer or otherwise!
